SOS the Blog-INTRO

SOS the Blog, Intro 

    I believe that if you are reading this you are or have been a friend to me in some capacity. If that is true than there is no need for a drawn out introduction. You know me, I am Chanti, a Leo, about 5 ft tall, funny as hell, down to earth, dancer, yogi, mother, lover, etc. You may have also met me as someone's wife...yet soon to no longer be. Maybe I'll introduce myself as a person later on, if I ever decide to let outsiders in. But for now, let me introduce this blog:

    SOS or Starting Over Single is NOT a messy tell all drama! It is MY journey to navigating life after being in a full blown relationship for my entire adult life. Did I experience physical, mental, emotional trauma and abuse - YES! Did I love the man who put me through all of that and consider him to be my best friend - YES! Did I protect his name sake, hold him down, and treat him like king even when he didn't deserve it- YES!...But do I need to share every little dirty detail - NO!

    We have kids, so I Left to teach them right from wrong. I have two future black kings, I Left to save the next generation of ngas! I Left because I didn't want the future women on their path to feel the way I felt...which wasn't weak, or hurt, or sad. I felt numb, and that in my opinion is much worse.  I didn't allow myself to feel anything.

    I lived years in silence because the last thing I wanted to hear were words of pity. I hate when ppl say - "I'M sorry your going through that" or "You deserve better," & GOD forbid they offer me a hug or some type of affection...BARF! I'd rather numb myself to hurtful events, show strength and pretend things are perfect... This was fine for me, until I couldn't hide it from the little men who were growing into actual ppl with their own opinions, questions, and side eye acquisitions. Once I realized my decision to stay and be disrespected was being noticed by future men, I realized I was fucking up. It hit me that I wasn't strong at all. I was weak! I was too weak to face the truth. I was an enabler. I was letting this man do wrong and allowing our sons to think this is how marriage works. 

    DISCLAIMER: It is also not my intention to paint anyone as a villain. I am sharing my journey through experiences I have lived in the way that I remember them happening. With that being said; If you don't want to look like the bad guy...DO GOOD GUY SHIT! I'm no painter, I am not sharing for anyone other than myself as writing has always been therapy for me. I have tons of notebooks filled with experiences that no one will read until I am gone. It's a form of self expression. I am and have always been one to use my experiences to help others. If only 10 ppl follow this blog & 3 get inspired to make a change or do something they were too afraid to do -...then I will feel like my life experiences mattered and were not in vain. 

VOL 1 will drop on 8/9/2024........