Vol 3: Red Riding Hood pt 1

ponds, “that’s amazing”. He asks if he can accompany her on the journey and Red nods yes. The wolf helps Red to her feet and helps p

        Once upon a time there was a girl named Red. She was a beautiful young woman who had red curly hair, a naturally petite but curvy frame, a good sense of humor, lots of book smarts and common sense. Red was no stranger to the woods as it was where she grew up, however she spent most of her 20’s and 30’s cooped up inside a split-level house in the suburbs where she moved after marrying her husband, The Big Bad Wolf, together they started a family. 

After many years, Red decided she needed to leave her suburban split-level home because she was tired of the mistreatment that happened inside. Red grabbed what was left of her pride, and nothing else but a basket and a red cape and bravely stepped back into the woods, that she thought she knew well.

While travelling through the forest she noticed red graffiti-stained signs on the trees that read, “BEWARE of WOLVES”. “DON'T FALL FOR THE BREADCRUMBS”, “THE WOLVES WILL LURE YOU IN WITH LOVE BOMBING”, “ALL WOLVES ARE BAD!” “THE WOLVES ARE WEAK!”  

RED thought to herself, wow, these woods have changed. These signs were not here before. Back in the day when you met a wolf no one warned you of his intentions. You had to simply take a chance. Red took in all the signs, found a tree that had apples, picked a few and put them in her basket. She laid out her blanket, sat down, and began to journal. Suddenly, Red felt a swift shift in temperature as if someone swiftly walked by.  The air caused her cape to shift a bit. She looked up but no one was there so she continued journaling.

Dear Journal, 

In these woods I plan to take a journey to find connection. One that is not shallow or simply physical, but one that provides emotional safety, fun, and passion like never before. I desire great energy, and an amazing connection. What does it look like, what does it smell like, how does it feel? I have no clue. But I do know I want to smile because of it. 

Suddenly, her journaling was interrupted. “Hey Baby”, A voice whispers. Red looks up only to see a wolf standing directly in front of her. This wolf is tall, dark and furry. He is well-groomed, smells amazing, and even has gold fangs. He leaned against the tree seemingly comfortably. Red, unphased by his looks and demeanor says, “Hey Baby?”  The wolf introduces himself as Q-Wolf, he asks where she's heading into the woods all alone. She responds, “on a journey to find myself”. He responds, “that’s amazing”. He asks if he can accompany her on the journey and Red nods yes. The wolf helps Red to her feet and helps pack up the blanket and basket. He proceeds to lead her deeper into the woods. During their journey into the woods, they chat about their personal experiences over the past few years.  They share a few intimate moments, including the most passionate gaze into each other's eyes, and eventually an even more passionate kiss. Red states to the wolf “You feel amazing”. He responds, “No you feel amazing!” They continue to walk deeper and deeper into the woods holding hands and flying off good energy and passion. They dive deeper into each other's desires, they tell jokes, laugh, and more.  

Eventually, they come to a steep point in the hike, and realized they’ve  run out of apples and water miles ago. They also experience another dilemma; Red’s ex, The Big Bad Wolf, finds them. The Big Bad Work shoots an arrow toward them, as an attempt to win her back and save her. Red intercepted the arrow and without hesitation threw it forcefully back at him. The arrow swipes his arm and draws some blood. The Big Bad Wolf retreats. Q- wolf was fearful of the future with Red now that things were so rocky. He looks at her, tells her how much he loves her and appreciates her. He asks how much longer she thinks things will be rocky, but she is unsure, because this is her first time back into the woods after 20 yrs; He expressed understanding. They decide to rest, as the journey had been long. Red sits to journal again. As the night falls, she states that they should get some sleep and Q- wolf agrees. They share yet another passionate kiss before falling asleep in each other's arms. The next morning when Red wakes up, she is alone, Q wolf has gone. He took nothing from her but also left nothing for her. Red wonders what she did to scare him off. She replays the journey they had together in her head over and over. She calls his name, and he doesn't answer. She sits for a second, feeling the urge to cry, but chooses not to. Red packs her basket, folds her blanket, sharpens the edge of a hiking stick and begins her journey alone. This time she is unwilling to be swindled by another wolf.  After reflecting, she realizes that this is a journey of self-discovery and decides to make a pitstop at her grandmother's house. Here she will revisit her childhood, feel the love and connection of family, laugh, and begin to refuel her soul. “Off to Grandma’s House” says Red, as she continues into the woods, alone. 

To Be Continued….

Terrence: 

I have been dreading or avoiding writing a full rundown of my time with Terrence. I don't feel like he is a bad guy. I don't feel like anyone I am going to tell you about is a bad guy. We will find out eventually that I, Yours Truly, am in fact- THE DRAMA. Terrence was simply a good guy, in a sticky situation. He, just like me, shouldn't have been dating at the time. After our first few dates I was comfortable enough to spend time with Terrence at his home. I would pack my laptop and work my remote days from his house, often. He also worked from home, since he was self-employed. He owned a company that had the potential to be very lucrative. I had just caught him at a time when it had not yet become lucrative! One morning, I mean early morning approximately 8am, we were in his kitchen working. He was on the phone directing traffic and putting out fires, he seemed extremely stressed and irritated. While talking, without hesitation, he grabbed a tequila bottle off the counter, took the top off, and began sipping straight from the bottle. AGAIN, it was 8 am! This man did even eat a bowl of cereal, an egg, grits, nothing, yet! I chose not to judge or make any decisions off of that sip. I notice as he gets more and more heated on the phone call, he begins to pace and takes a few more sips. I eventually get up, grab the bottle, put the lid on and say, “it’s too early for this, let's go get breakfast”. He takes a moment away from the phone and we go pick up breakfast. He hands me a 20-dollar bill when I get to the store. I ask him if he needs anything- he says no-I run in and grab food.

Our work from home days together continue to go like this. One day I saw he was stressed, so I got up, rubbed his head and offered to take his braids out, wash his hair and re-braid it; he graciously accepted the offer. He looked like a whole new man once he got that shape up. The more we hang out at his home, the more I start to see how his company is still truly in the beginning stages; meaning he is barely breaking even. I realize that Terrence is in full hustle mode. Men get like this when they are focused on a goal especially pertaining to money. I admired his dedication. I also admired his will not fail; Until he decided to include me in that plan. 

Terrence would send me money via Cash App and ask me to Apple Pay it back to him. Initially, I thought nothing of it, and figured it was fine. However, when it happened too often, I became annoyed. It just didn’t make sense. He would send me the money, without telling me first, and then text and ask for me to send it back. I could be doing anything and look at my phone and there is a message for me to transfer funds from one entity to the next. Did this man not have a bank account? Was he in extreme overdraft? I didn't understand how he was an entrepreneur and didn't have a bank account or two; I mean transfer from your savings to your checking like the rest of us; but I’m not judging, just a slight side eye.  Now remember, he knew just like anyone else, that I was recently separated and trying to start over, including financially. I went from a married woman with two incomes to a single-parent household (as did my ex, but that's neither here nor there). My point is don't assume I have to help you. Terrence eventually asked me to borrow $20, and I sent it to him. I never got it back, which is fine for like my little sister or something. Well, it didn’t stop there, next he asked me for $50. Did he forget that he still owes me $20? I tell him that I am unable to help him at the moment; He says thanks anyway. A few weeks later he asks to borrow $1500; explaining that he is trying to save his company. While I admire the effort, I didn't sign up to help him. I played that role before and wasn't going to do it again.  I let him know that he would need to find another way.

 I decided that after his birthday I would end things. I had already purchased tickets for him to see his favorite drummer live, so I wanted to see that through. At the end of the day, I am not heartless, I am actually a lover.  I did, however, stop visiting his house so much. On his birthday we enjoyed a great night, on my dime. I let him know that I wouldn’t come around as often because I had an upcoming wellness retreat and that I needed to “lock in”, this was true. I travelled to Panama and the wellness retreat had turned into just what the doctor ordered. In between slowing ghosting Terrance and traveling to Panama, things pick back up heavily with Q. I dated Terrence for about 3 months, Q came around about a month and a half in. Once Q was back, there was no hope for Terrance. Full transparency, I ignored Q at first. It wasn't until I noticed flaws in Terrence that I let Q back in. Maybe that counts for something.

Quote: 

“Healing doesn't mean you’ll always feel joy. It means that when you face tough times or sadness, you have the experience and understanding to manage your feelings and get back to a balanced state. It's about coping and adapting, not constant happiness.”

Lesson: It's ok to change my mind as many times as I need to. Everything is new to me at the moment. I am navigating feelings, trying to meet and understand new people. It's OK! 

 

I had already purchased tickets for him to see his favorite drummer live, so I wanted to see that through. At the end of the day, I am not heartless, I am actually a lover.  I did, however, stop visiting his house so much. On his birthday we enjoyed a great night, on my dime. I let him know that I wouldn’t come around as often because I had an upcoming wellness retreat and that I needed to “lock in”, this was true. I travelled to Panama and the wellness retreat had turned into just what the doctor ordered. In between slowing ghosting Terrance and traveling to Panama, things pick back up heavily with Q. I dated Terrence for about 3 months, Q came around about a month and a half in. Once Q was back, there was no hope for Terrance. Full transparency, I ignored Q at first. It wasn't until I noticed flaws in Terrence that I let Q back in. Maybe that counts for something.

Quote: 

“Healing doesn't mean you’ll always feel joy. It means that when you face tough times or sadness, you have the experience and understanding to manage your feelings and get back to a balanced state. It's about coping and adapting, not constant happiness.”

Lesson: It's ok to change my mind as many times as I need to. Everything is new to me at the moment. I am navigating feelings, trying to meet and understand new people. It's OK!